高分范文什么样？

上周我们讨论了一个常见的写作误区，就是过分追求不常用词汇和复杂句型。那么，简单平实的表达真的可以拿高分吗？今天就给大家分享一篇来自剑6Test1的作文，这篇文章讨论的是产品的高销量反映的究竟是广告的作用还是消费者真实的需求。全文如下：

Nowadays, there are lots of advertisements on television or on the streets. Some people think that the advertising boosts the sales of goods and it encourages people to buy things unnecessarily. This arguments may be true. In my country, many advertising companies produce advertisements with famous and popular actors or singers. People, especially youngsters, buy goods that their favorite singer advertise, although they do not really need the products.

Also, on the television screen, a product may look gorgeous and good quality. As a result of it, people often buy goods without enough consideration. Consumers may not actually need it but they buy goods impulsively soon after they watch the advertising. Furthermore, as many customers buy a particular product due to its advertising campaign, the other people may be affected by the trend, even if the product is not of the real needs of the society.

看到这里，有同学心里可能已经给这篇文章“判死刑”了：怎么全是我认识的词，还有我最嫌弃的短句？别急，咱们接着往下看——

On the other hand, there are various aspects against these arguments. Moreover, it is people’s choice to make a decision to buy goods. Advertising may be not a cause of customers’ buying habits. Individuals have their own spending habits. If they have got enough disposable income, then the right to make a decision is given to them. No one actually can judge whether the goods sold are the real needs of the society or not.

In addition, as there should be a limited amount of disposable income consumers are able to spend, it is better to leave them to make their own decision in buy goods. It is fairly difficult to say everyone is swayed by advertising and buy good impulsively. However, in sensitive area of businesses such as toy industries, it may be necessary to band advertising to those children as children have not got enough ability to control themselves or to know what they need.

通篇看下来，这篇文章的用词很常见，句子也很简短，似乎过于“接地气”，并不是很多同学心中高分作文该有的样子。实际上，这篇文章拿了7.5分，是不是很出乎意料？让我们看看考官的评价：

The way in which the candidate has responded to the task is a strong point of this script. It is a well-developed answer that addresses the issues relevantly and at length. The writer introduces the topic, examines both sides of the argument and expresses a clear position. Points are well-argued and supported with examples.（考官认为TR部分是这篇文章的突出优点，这启示我们，要特别关注观点切题和论证充分的问题，否则遣词造句再精彩都是答非所问！）

The answer is well-organised and the message is easy to follow with clear paragraphing and linking of ideas. There are too many errors in cohesion, however, and some linkers are not always fully appropriate, so this limits the rating for this criterion.（逻辑清晰，衔接手段多样，可惜的是错误较多）

A wide range of vocabulary is used accurately and precisely, in spite of one or two awkward expressions and some rare errors. （面对同样的词汇，我们同学觉得太简单太平实，考官的评价却是accurate and precise，可见我们在词汇的选择上一直存在误区！）

Similarly, a sophisticated range of structures is used but there are too many minor errors and omissions (such as in the use of prepositions and basic subject/verb agreement) to reach Band 8. Nevertheless these mistakes do not reduce the clarity of the answer and overall a wide range of language is used with a high level of proficiency.（我们同学觉得“平平无奇”的句子，考官却认为是a sophisticated range of structures，并且要不是小错误和遗漏太多的话，GRA部分甚至能上8！）

至此，同学们应该已经走出了追求难词和长句的误区。还要特别提醒大家的是，我们在考官评语里可以看到，CC和GRA部分的失分都是由于too many errors，所以准确性永远是大家需要牢记的原则。